Koushaku Reijou no Tashinami - Ch 209

Reunion II

"... That's right, Your Highness, why is Bern at your side?"

I changed the topic so as to hide my feelings.

"He's now Rudy's right hand man, apparently the situation of the country seemed to be quite a shocking for him ... He was badly shaken for a long time after he encountered that episode of people dying of hunger in front on him... When he came to me, he said that he wants to change the state of this country from top to bottom, and said that he would do anything for it and asked me to let him help. He has changed a lot from who he was when I was with you at the territory. You must know it better than me. "

"I was also surprised about that, because at the meeting when he looked at them his expression was not something I've ever seen before, neither his appearance nor his inner side seems to be even a bit of what it was before, especially the inner side... Even though I knew he had such a determination, What kind of thing happened to him? "

"I don't know very well, but I heard him said," I came from seeing hell ... " And from the soldiers I know that episode I mentioned before, after that I heard he kept wandering through other territories and marked which ones he saw similar situations.. It must have been hard and traumatic for him... "

"I see..."

"Because he is a nobleman, he never before has been in touch with situations like that ... No, better to say that he never ever cared about his people, he surely has changed... He now seems to hate the aristocracy, and it also includes himself. To come under me was the driving force of that feeling... He worked a lot without recess for the kingdom, it is almost as if he remodeled all the administrative system of the kingdom after coming under me, and he was convinced vigorously of using not only those in my hands but also those inside the army of Almerian Duke for recovering the kingdom. I only took the role of gathering information for proceeding with his plan. In that insecure situation the least I could do was to check whether the information and the evidence had any discrepancy or not. Compared with the present situation ... It was really hard, very hard. But he enjoyed it, when he saw the results of his hard work on the current people lives, he had a face of been redeemed... "

"That's right, it is a pleasing thing to know that child is serving his highness."

Although I stayed at our residence in the capital, I had never seen Bern.

I was busy too so I didn't give much importance to it ... but now I understand.

His growth is a pleasure for me as a fellow sister of him.

"Here is the place where I would like to thank you for allowing Bern to be with us. We have already repaired a lot from the initial situation, but it has not ended yet, there's still a lot of scratches left in various places of this country. There are still many things I have to do... "

"... That's right, this country lost a lot of things."

At my words, he laughed in a troubled way.

"I did my best, I did everything I could do... but whatever I do or remembering what I did ... I'm still caught in the screams this ear has heard... the screams of those we lost, I know we can't never regain them again. "

If this is a game, I click "play again" after "game over" and it ended.

However, this is reality.

There is no such thing as a miracle that can redo everything.

For me who is just a fragile human, even if I wanted to save everything, I know I can't.

I will not regret what I've done. I know I tried my best for them.

I will not run away, I will not throw my people away.

However, sometimes the idea of ​​whether I could have done better appears in my mind.

"... The result will not change... The fact that there are people we were not be able to help or save will remain unchanged. But we know we did out best."

"...Yes, I guess."

"However, you should not carry the people pain and sorrow on you, you did your best, you know very well what was the cause of this, don't bear it on you when you're innocent from all this. "

I know that sorrow and anger swallow everything ... I don't want such thing for him. 

His tone turned warm after that.

"Dea ..."

In spite of this, I really want to call his name.

He stopped me with his hand before I could say it.. He had a bitter smile on his face.

It's as if he was saying me to not continue trying...