Koushaku Reijou no Tashinami - Ch 141


Dida and Tanya

"... ... I will come in, Dida"

I knocked and entered his room.
He sat on a chair as he thought of something.

The room given to the servants is not that wide.
However, me, Dida, Sebas, and people who serve the lady from the beginning are given a private room.

"...... This is from the lady, to read before you return to work."

"Oh, thank you"

Dida laughed and received it.

"Then, if you are thankful, do not make that face before returning to work. Your true face is better than that false smiley one."

"Is that too, a message from the lady?"

"I guess that's not the case, advise from me"

I smiled at my words.
It is sorrowful enough what happened and if he also has to appear joyful while it.. I couldn't imagine

"... but I will not forgive you for the trouble you gave the lady"

"It was harsh, all that happened that time, well my sermon was done"

"Sermon ......! Not at all"

While saying so, I remember the time when he just came.
At that time ...... He laughed at the moment when I came into the room.
Rather than his usual true smile, it looked like a loser, such as if... the usual brightness was cut off.

"What about your injuries? "

"no problem. ... ... It's bad, but please remove this. "

"What are you saying! You only have to wait here with him. The reason why I came here is to confirm your safety and gave you the things the lady sent. In order for you to not be used as a hostage again with the still persistent rumors or be witnessed by that boy. And yet, let's say you remove the bandages! What? What will you do when you remove them. What are you going to do with that body that is injured and useless right now! "

"Stop talking a bit."

"What? Ha ha ... ... It's quiet now! What do you intendDo not let me down, no more than you already have. "

"Even though you will be disappointed, I only do what I need to do."

"What do you have to do? All you have to do is wait here until you recover. If you go out still injured and you are witnessed by others and they think that there is a connection with the Vortic Family, what will you do! And if you go out and get caught again? You will not be able to move as usual in your body now. "

"It's about my body ... I know how much I can move. I can not be caught by them "

"I can not trust you. You were caught once already...'

"Tied to emotion, this is karma. ... but, I threw out the shitty sentiments. "

"If thrown away, why do you need to go out now? Are you worried about the situation not?"

"I want to be certain. No matter how much I throw it away, the ghosts of the past will come to hunt me again. The most important thing to me right now is exposed to the crisis ... ... I should confront and keep the troubles away. "

"No ... No matter what, what can you do?"

When looking downwards, he was lying on the floor.
Among these quarrels, I wonder if he got awfully sleepy, are his nerves of steel?
Such a silly doubt passed my mind at that time.

"I have only you. If this is going to happen, I will need nerves like yours. "

"However……"

"I will go. In this way, I can not forgive myself. I can not face you or the lady, ... .... "

Dida's serious gaze shoots through me.

"The lady is the Lord who gave me life when I was dead. I may lose my life if I want to protect her. ...... But even though, my lady is in danger because of me. I do not think I can be forgiven. So, if I'm caught in the unlikely event and I were to inconvenience the lady anymore than I already had, at that time I would not hesitate to choose death. "

"... ... that word, I do not deserve it"

"Ah"

I took his bandages.
He confirmed the condition of his arm for a while and then stood up.

"Even if this matter has ended safely ...... Even if you meet the lady, and even if the lady forgives you ... I will not forgive you. Dida "

"That's correct!"

Then Dida ran outside.

I remembered the series of events and opened my closed eyes.

"...... even if my lady forgives you, I will not forgive you"

"Ah"

"I saw your fight and I was convinced that you had no ties with them, you were caught, as you said ... ... and you lost to your past memories and feelings. From now on only turn your eyes to important things. "

What he did could not be forgiven.

Neither he inquired, nor angered when I said so.

But ....

"I wonder if it's genuine your feelings about wanting to protect the lady, I thought it was more like work for you, but were you so compromised about it?"

"... Even if you say so, I can not help it."

Dida laughed while saying so.
That reaction was unexpected, I exhaled.

"Well, is the man named Tori now a ghost?"

"Well ... That's right."

This time, Dida breathed deeply.

"When I was studying the case on that city, I quickly understood that Tori was involved in, so I tried to convince him to get away and immediately stop it."

And I listen only to corroborated information so I tend to ignore words that seems rumors.

"To say that you were useless is wrong more like believing him and not asking questions means that you and that man were very close."

"Oh yeah, it was like how I'm with Lyle now .... When he noticed me, he said stay with me, when I was looking for food, when I was a fool, when I entered the organization, all that time he was at my side."

"Oh, that's good, when I was thrown in garbage I was alone."

"In that respect, I wonder if I might have been blessed ... Well, after all it doesn't matter anymore."

While he said so, I smiled.

Sometimes the orders we received from above come from others organizations.. If you don't get information about something it's because the people from low ranks don't know.. well I was able to predict it but.. there was something that would come back later to attack, what is behind the scenes is something grim and dirty.. I didn't know what ties he had with the organization, I miscalculated thinking that he could pass through the problems and distance himself from them. I thought he was going to run away when I told him to escape from the organization, but instead he said me "Where are we going to escape to? I guess we will not be able to survive, after all I have tried already"

"... Well then?"

"It was all good halfway but I noticed something wrong on the way ... I offered him to be a decoy and let him escape first. After that I got caught once and he was able to get away, but I escaped while seeing a gap ... Then, I met the lady on the way while running away ... ...  the other part is as you know. "

"Well, our lady has also forgiven you, because if we put your matters to the side, even if you are rough,  you will examine your errors and stand again"

"I think so, even though I am strongly honored by the princess, since I was judged based on where I came from I thought that I can not have anything to do with excellent people like them, after all, I was not supposed to be around."

"Well, it is true."

"Because I broke up like that ... I was the only one who managed to escape from that environment, I wanted to persuade him if I could to escape now... Well, the result was bad ..." I don't want to escape from this environment anymore, is what he said me, he doesn't believe in my words "if you show up in a meeting place ... I'll take you to escape...." it's fantasy

"The you got caught"

"That is what I am, I guess I'm not suitable for persuasion"

I heard a laugh from him when saying so, but when I saw his face he was not laughing at all.

"Perhaps I did not believe in myself, I was stinky and not dependable enough ... ... but I wanted to believe it ... because when I thought that we had built that much, so it was no good to lose him. Even though I was not supposed to have expectations ... I ... ... as you said, I lost. "

He told me that while he was grasping his fist with so much power that it turned white.

Perhaps blood comes out if he had nails.

"so……"

I at the same time I breathe a sigh, I stood up.
Then, stop by the side of his desk.
There was a document that I gave him today.
Taking it in the hand I pass it to him again.

"... ... that, please read quickly, you will return to work from tomorrow"

"Oh, ah ... ...."

In the direction of the conversion I went to because we talked too much about stories, he had rounded his eyes as if surprised.

"Because the lady gave you the opportunity as much as she could, you have to complete your duties to respond to it, because the ghost that disturbs you is not anymore"

"... ... That's right."

And so more positive, Dida's looked up to me.

But, because he is hiding his eyes behind his arm, he cannot see the above.

"I'm refreshed, you are"

"... do you want me to comfort you?"

"Okay ... ... I can not go to the table because I can not help being like this now."

"Well"

I laughed a little strange, to his words.

"Me and you ... ... And then connecting Lyle, we all have the same purpose of protecting the lady, as long as the purpose has not changed, we can face the same direction forever."

For example, even if in the opinion we clash.

Even if there is a mishap.

If the ultimate goal is the same ... ... It is not good between us to have a misunderstanding.

I think so.

"You will not be blurred forever"

"Naturally, I will protect my lady, even if I gave my life."

Dida laughed at my words.

"This time, you acted out of that purpose for a moment ... .... But, at the end you came back. Please put this on yourself. So I'm relieved, even though I can not yet forgive you ...... but I still think that we both would go forward in the same direction. "

"...it is ..., do not work hard, not just in the same direction, but also let us take care of each other's back."

"Well"

"...... True, this place is too comfortable and I am not satisfied. I want to protect the lady better

His words muttered while trembling a little.
Water droplets had been transmitted from his eyes.
However, I decided not to see it ... I left from the place.