Koushaku Reijou no Tashinami - Ch 212

Goodbye

"Dean!"

I call his name and he opens his hand.

"This…is..."

What was in that hand was the pocket watch that I just asked Tanya to bring me.

"... Oh, I got it! you picked it up for me. Thank you."

I look at his eyes while trying to receive it.

At that moment, I remembered that I called his name like in the old days earlier.

"... I am sorry, Your Highness I already asked of you to dismiss your goodness and attention given to me as it's confusing..."

The moment I said that, he had a troubled face and ... a sad smile.

"I already thought that I would receive such an answer from you ...."

His voice was terribly weak as he said so.

"Your Highness ..."

"I'm asking again... Will you accept that proposal? really?..."

At first, I did not know what he was asking me about.

But, looking back at him it was the same question as previously when I talked about marriage.

Both his eyes and expression are still weak, like a troubled child.

I see him seriously for the first time in a while.

Naturally as it's his usual habit, his hands were on my shoulders as he asks me.

That world of disbelief in love had disappeared cleanly from my head.

"...... I'm sorry ... I have asked something strange ..."

He took my hands on his.

"No ... It's not strange.."

He tried asking me again to know about my true intention about marriage.

That's all it was, that was enough.

Eyes speak louder and more eloquent than words.

It is because he is conflicted about his feelings that he does not mention it.

"I have no right to stop you, it is regrettable for the country to lose a talent like yours, but the Kingdom of Acacia is a great country, it is not bad to strengthen ties with the Kingdom of Acacia through your marriage."

It seemed as if he was making excuses for himself as he repeatedly said such words.

"But even though I am... in love... to... ou..."

Any more words are unnecessary. I cried silently while murmuring it.

My love is only a burden on this person.

First of all, as he said, a marriage with the royal family of the kingdom of Acacia is profitable for the Duke of Almeria ... and eventually for this country too.

The reason why he is refusing my love is because ... of the moment.

Besides, what was once will remain in the memories of the people.

I used to be Ed's fiancee once.

And he is charged with treason and did such horrible things to this country and its people.

Although my engagement with him was broken long before, the past of having been his fiancee will follow me forever.

With such a reason, if a marriage between him who is the first prince and me who is the ex fiancee of Ed who was charged with treason were to be announced... the rebellious nobility surely will try to take back the country.

His aides will also object, because I have been Ed's fiancee.

... Rudy, one of his aides, may perceive that I marry him to strengthen the power and influence of the Duke of Almeria.

For him who is determined to be the king of this country, there are only risks if he were to choose me.

He already has Bern on his side to show the support from the Duke.

On this occasion, if I get the position of his fiancee... it may be regarded as being a greedy house.

Even if the Duke of Almeria doesn't have that intention, it'll be seen that way.

That is because the royal family can be controlled in any way by nobility if the house has influence.

It is nothing but to expose the weak side of royalty been all of his people from a single family.

Even now the nobles are confused and the situation of this country is still confusing.

In the meantime, if the powerful families were to compete for influence... the chaos would be terribly..

He is not a bad person, he's only caring for this country... In addition, there are external factors also affecting it at this moment, another problem for him would be difficult to overcome... 

I knew it... I know... But! I did not want to understand.

I love him... so much... that I'm careless about the situation...

"... Dean"

I whispered to him.

He aligns his gaze to my eyes.

"You are only mine from long ago, are not you?"

As I asked that, he opened his eyes as if surprised for a moment ... but, then he laughed.

"Oh, that's right."

My whole body trembled with delight at those words.

It's enough... Because now I know that the feelings are mutual.

"... you are the country's pillar, and I... can't make things difficult for you... Even if our paths now break up, if... we keep watching the same direction, we'll always be with each other in our hearts.. I'm sure.. You'll be a wonderful ruler. "

I said so, and left him.

"I very much appreciate your feelings and I will answer to them devoting myself entirely to this country ... for all my life..."

So, let's put a break at it this time. What a selfish feeling is love...

Loving him is okay ... but, I do not want to see him with that face anymore.

Dean did not say anything after that.

"Well then, I'll be going."

And I left him.

When I left the room and returned to the entrance, there was already Tanya waiting for me there.

"Tanya"

"…Lady!"

I guess I was trying to get rid of those feelings... I didn't notice my expression, but.. It must have been unusual as she called me with a loud voice.

"I'm sorry that I left this place...when I promised you I'd be here.."

"If you are okay, that's fine, I am sorry too, I could not find the pocket watch that I was ordered to look for. I will look for it again backtracking to the carriage. "

"It's okay Tanya. Actually, I looked closely under the clothes and found that it was caught between the layers of fabric. I'm sorry."

"No, it's no problem... If your wish has come true, then all is fine."

"Thank you ... ... Hey, Tanya. Will you accompany me wherever I go?"

"Of course."

"Thanks Tanya..."

Will I regret this choice?

I wonder what he will do after I marry.

If at that time I regret what should I do?. I think of a lot of choices that I have not thought of before.

But for me now the only option is this.

Just believe and proceed.

I've already broken up with this sweet dream.

...... Afterwards, I returned to the mansion with a horse-drawn carriage with Tanya.

Mysteriously, my heart is calm.

When I got back to the mansion, I felt a tense feeling like a prickly penetration into my skin.

I am nervous about what I should tell my parents.

While tilting my head, I flee to see father.

"...... Iris, You have come back at a good moment."

To my mother's harsh voice and atmosphere, I stopped my breath, what happened??.

"Is there something wrong?"

"... finally, the war with Twil country has begun..."

At my mother's words, my head got dyed white.